The Farm (2018) Review

Spoiler-free so you can read before you watch

The Farm (2018) Review

Horrorific content by adrian on June 23rd, 2020 | Movie Review | Survival, Road Trip, Cannibalism, Desolate, Gore

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It's about a cannibalistic commune of masked mutes who treat and eat people like farm animals.

The Farm was directed by Hans Stjernsward and stars Nora Yessayan, Alec Gaylord and Ken Volok.

In this place you're the main dish

The Farm has a very creative concept but is a very crappy movie.

It tries to reverse the roles of livestock and people, where animals raise, cage and use people as a resource (milk, meat, etc). It emphasizes its point well by going the way of torture and gore. It also taps into the classic horror plot of a couple on a road trip who take a wrong turn into the wrong town. And it has a great hook of the "animals" being a creepy cult of people in farm animal masks who don't speak, have zero empathy and who have a taste for human meat.

I was immediately sold after watching the trailer.

Ten minutes in and I knew I made a mistake. The Farm turned out to be a real shit sundae with a double scoop of dung. A real steaming pile of stink. I'd call it a shit show, but that would make it seem like something actually happened at some point. This movie was anemic, like swallowing a couple of sleeping pills with a shot of NyQuil.

So there's this couple on a road trip in the middle of nowhere who find themselves looking for place to crash for the night. They roll into a small town full of aggressive locals who direct them to a derelict bed and breakfast run by a maniac manager. No red flags here. They call it a night and wake up in cages.

The dialog up to this point was downright painful to listen to, full on B-movie. But after this point it's nearly non-existent. The animal people never speak a word, not even to each other, because animals don't speak I guess. They also never take off their masks, not even around each other. Our naive couple scream and yell, but that's about it.

There's plot holes, missing details and missing time. All you really get as a viewer is gore. No coherent story, no suspense, no dialog, no score, no plot twists, no surprises. Just blood and people in animal masks staring at the camera. Sure, it was a cool visual the first few times, but it was apparently the only tool in the director's horror toolbox, so that's all you see over and over and then it ends. It literally ends with the same thing, animal mask people staring at you. Scary.

Worth Watching? 

No way. I wish I could burn this movie in a dumpster somewhere.

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