The Baby (1973) Review

Spoiler-free so you can read before you watch

The Baby (1973) Review

Horrorific content by adrian on February 08th, 2020 | Movie Review | Cult Classic, Drama, Psychological, Dysfunctional Family

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It's about a 20 year old dude who lives the life of a 1 year old, and a bunch of people are totally cool with it.

The Baby was directed by Ted Post (who also directed Nightkill) and stars Anjanette Comer (from Netherworld), Ruth Roman (from Echoes and Impulsive) and Marianna Hill (from Blood Beach and Schizoid).

What goes on in this nursery isn't for kids!

WTF Shudder, seriously. There I am, scrolling through your usually solid list of horror movies when something called The Baby grabs my eye. Grown man hanging out of a crib holding an axe and a sexy babe slinking around in the background? Looks twisted! ...within the context of horror. Problem is, The Baby is not a horror movie. It's just a weird movie.

Shudder does this every now and again, sneaks in a non-horror just for kicks. And I think I've accidentally seen them all. Let Me Make You a Martyr starring Marilyn Manson was one of them. But at least that movie had genuine shock factor. Sure it was just a grungy crime thriller, but it had some clear horror-eque elements. The Baby, at most, had occasional subtle suspense that only worked to make you feel slightly uncomfortable (and more than slightly bored).

So there's this guy with adult baby syndrome, seemingly forced upon him by his psychosexual matriarchal family. This family is in the system and are regularly visited by child protective services, just to make sure everything is copacetic. One of the social workers who stops by one day immediately takes an unnaturally maternal interest in the boy. Great, that's just what this guy needs, one more creepy woman hanging on him. Of course this creates a conflict between the creepy social worker and the boy's creepy mom. And this is where you'd expect the horror to kick in.

But there's no horror to be found here. Rather, everyone is actually very reasonable and cordial with each other. Sure, things heat up a bit near the end and there's a strange reveal, but it wraps up trying to make you feel all warm 'n cozy.

I hate this movie so much.

Worth Watching? 

I hate this movie.

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