Scare Package Review (2020) Worth Watching?

A video store owner and his best customer take a new hire through the tropes of horror in this meta horror comedy anthology.

Scare Package is a horror anthology directed by Aaron B. Koontz (from The Pale Door), Chris McInroy, Emily Hagins, Courtney Andujar, Hillary Andujar, Baron Vaughn, Noah Segan and Anthony Cousins.

7 Directors.7 Tales of Terror. 0 Working Cell Phones

In a love letter to 80s horror and all of its corny, raucous, blood-soaked glory, Aaron Koontz’s Scare Package pokes fun at nearly every horror cliche that exists through humor and pure love of the genre. Final girl is a virgin? Check. The sole POC is the first to die for seemingly no reason? Check, check. The opening character bites the dust in the first scene? Well, that’s where we begin the first chapter in this series of stories: Cold Open.

A dude aptly named Mike Myers finds himself killed off at the beginning of every horror movie he’s in - except, in the universe he lives in, there is no director, and the other actors don’t know they're in a movie. Eventually we find out that this is a meta screenplay he’s writing. A little hard to follow at first, but once he meets Rad Chad - who absolutely made the movie for me, I laughed out loud during all of his scenes - it all settles into place with the frame narrative of Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium, the strongest of all the segments. Chad, an immature Joe Bob Briggs knockoff who owns a local genre video store, is looking for a new hire/best friend. He spars often with his only regular customer and fellow horror movie nut, Sam - another character I loved, because who of us doesn’t see themselves in/know someone exactly like an encyclopedia of film who is constantly at the video store and thinks their word is gospel? When Sam’s application is denied for a job at the store and Chad hires a new applicant named Hawn on the spot, Sam and Chad put Hawn through a tutorial/hazing of horror movies they deem essential. But Hawn’s got a secret of his own.

Through these VHS tapes of fictitious old horror movies, we are introduced to the segments One Time in the Woods (a group of friends go camping only to be stalked by a killer. Gross and entertaining), M.I.S.T.,E.R. (a werewolf saga with a fun twist), Girls’ Night Out of Body (an outrageous curse story), The Night He Came Back Again! Part IV: The Final Kill (teenagers outsmart the villain and capture him, and try their best to kill an unkillable man), and So Much to Do (the only time I found myself bored, but I did like the no-spoiler plotline, because I, too, hate spoilers).

Then we arrive at the segment Horror Hypothesis, where Rad Chad himself is somehow transported into a horror movie. It's quite a bit like The Cabin in the Woods, from the premise to the blood-spattered walls. The final baddie, called the Devil’s Lake Impaler, wears a mask made from the people he’s killed ala Texas Chainsaw Massacre - which looks like a cross between Leatherface and Freddy Krueger. Chad uses his knowledge of horror cinema to evade the monster and fulfill his destiny.

For all of its gore, Scare Package is incredibly stylish, and the special effects range from over-the-top to incredibly impactful. For all of its homages and purposeful derivation - from plotlines to wardrobe to names displayed on shelving units, there are really too many to name - it’s a fresh take on anthologies. A very Pulp Fiction-esque timeline is renewed with a meta twist, where horror aficionados are in on the joke. Who doesn’t love a film that’s made just for them?

Worth Watching?

If you’re in the mood for a fun horror movie where the scares are scant, the plot’s a little messy, and the laughs are in high supply, this is the movie for you. Best watched with a horror-loving friend.

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