Paramedics (2016) Review

Spoiler-free so you can read before you watch

Paramedics (2016) Review

Horrorific content by Yo Adrian on February 19th, 2021 | Movie Review | Survival, Phobia, Medical, Gore, Torture, B-Horror

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It's about a couple of fake paramedics who are first to respond to emergency calls so they can gut people and sell their organs for cash.

Paramedics was directed by Rodney Wilson and stars Joe Bocian (from The Shadow Walkers), Brian Landis Folkins and Jenice Marshall.

Fear the ones you trust.

Parademics Review

Paramedics has B-horror written all over it. Not only is the premise ridiculous but it's confusingly marketed under three different names. Paramedics is the most common name, but it's also shopped around as 'Paramedic' which makes no sense because the movie is about two of them. It's also known as 'Bodies', which is about the most generic movie name in existence. Then there's the gore. No way can a movie this scattered realistically deliver the level of gore it promises. And because of all this there was no way I was not going to watch it.

The movie follows two brothers who sit in their ambulance just killing time waiting for a nearby emergency call they can beat the real paramedics to. Once a viable call comes over the radio they hit the gas to swoop up the patients, err victims, and speed off to a hideaway where they gut the poor bastards for their organs. A sketchy looking guy with a couple of coolers trades the organs for cash and the brothers head off to wait to snatch their next victim. 

Paramedics starts off strong. There's tits, ass, blood and gore all within the first 5 minutes. The acting sucks and the effects are laughable, but the tits, ass, blood and gore more than make up for it. 

I expected non-stop splatter, but the movie actually has a much deeper story than expected. There's a couple of psychological deep dives, some special needs sensitivities, a little family incest drama, an epic power struggle between one of the paramedic's and a formidable victim and even a bit of twisted voyeurism tossed in for fun.

Of course, it IS a B-horror on a tight budget, so things do drag in the middle. There's only so much a small cast of 3 in a small location can do for 98 minutes. There's a lot of repetition throughout the runtime but it never really gets boring. 

Paramedics AKA Paramedic AKA Bodies is B-horror gory GOLD. It's not the kind of movie to take seriously, it's the kind you watch with friends for the over the top shocks and laughs. 

Worth Watching?

For fun, yes. For scares, no way.

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