House 2: The Second Story Review (1987) Worth Watching?

It's about a couple who move into an old house that turns out to be haunted by demons looking for an ancient Aztec skull with magic powers.

House 2: The Second Story was directed by Ethan Wiley (who also directed Brutal and Blackwater Valley Exorcism) and stars Jonathan Stark (from Fright Night), Royal Dano (from Killer Klowns From Outer Space and Ghoulies II) and Lar Park Lincoln (from Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood and Sky Sharks).

It's an all new house with brand new owners

House 2: The Second Story is a horror comedy that's about a guy, Jesse, and his girlfriend who move into an old house that's been in Jesse's family for ages. Shortly after moving in he finds some old pics that show Jesse's great-great grandpa in possession of an ancient crystal skull. Later on, a bunch of ghosts and demons show up looking for the skull and all hell breaks loose. It's similar to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Eight Legged Freaks or Earnest Scared Stupid because it's dumb. Not funny dumb or "so bad it's good" dumb. It's just dumb dumb. It's not even a horror movie, it's like an adventure comedy for kids or something. It might as well be a Disney movie. It's like watching a Disney movie on drugs.

So, Jesse's parents were murdered in the same house he's living in now. This fact plays no role in the movie, it's just a thing the writers tossed in. Jesse's great-great grandpa was some kind of Indiana Jones type adventurer with a feisty partner named Slim Razor. His grandpa found and kept a magic skull and Slim Razor comes back from the dead, along with a bunch of wacky friends, to take it back. That's it.

Oh, and Jesse stumbles into a random room in the house that happens to have a rainforest in it. Not phased at all, he goes into the forest room and comes across a dinosaur that he has to fight. WTF right? He wins the fight somehow and then brings back a baby pterodactyl that he keeps as a pet.

You know, I just can't do this. I'm over this review, I'm over this movie. House 2: The Second Story. Clever name. Dumb movie.