Camp Death III in 2D (2018) Review Worth Watching?

It's about a teen summer camp that gets shut down after a bunch of murders, only to re-open years later with a promise of no more murders... a commitment illustrated by a large sign by the front door that reads "No Murder Please!" But, in an epic plot twist, as soon as the newest batch of teens show up they start getting murdered.

Camp Death III in 2D, directed by Matt Frame and stars Dave Peniuk, Angela Galanopoulos, Darren Andrichuk.

Fuck Your World!!!*

Jesus, what did I just watch.

Seriously, the past few days I've watched some truly incredible horror movies. Everything from classics like the legendary Nosferatu from 1922 to the opening day premier of the new Halloween. Then I get an email from Matt Frame, writer and director of Camp Death, talking about his newest contribution to our beloved horror genre. Sure, I tell him, I'd love an early screener, what a great way to continue this epic run of horror movies!

Well, after watching it I can honestly say it's no Nosferatu. But, I can also say it was WAY more entertaining than the new Halloween (incoming hate mail in 3.. 2.. 1..).

Watching Camp Death and the "doooooomed!" kids of Camp Crystal Meph was a lot like huffing paint and binging a demented mashup of Police Academy, Caddyshack, National Lampoon's Vacation and The Naked Gun.

There's not enough booze in the world to prepare you for some of the mind destroying scenes you're in for if you sit down for a little Camp Death III. The Johann Van Damme costume party comes to mind. It's crazy madness. So there's this Irish guy making out with a potato while "Crazy Ethel" (Camp Death's version of the old "You're doooomed" guy from Friday the 13th) belts out a "You're Doomed" experimental metal riff, and then a not-Australian Australian floats around in a bath tub with a kangaroo.

Okay, maybe that's confusing. So Crazy Ethel uses a squirrel as a weapon and there's this guy named Uncle Mel who is constantly shouting "F*ck Your World!" at everyone and everything, even a lake. He also kicks cripples while they're down and then there's this puppet that goes to jail after being used to beat a psycho.

Hmm, this is harder to explain than I thought.

Let's move onto some of the creative kill scenes. So there's this guy who gets dismembered by a toaster. Well, he gets dismembered by the toast being cooked up and fired out of the toaster. There's also a weed whacker decapitation and a wheelchair-bound guy who drowns in a pool. Actually, never mind, he was just "meditating" underwater and looked dead. Oh, and there were a couple of people who accidentally killed themselves with lightsabers.

Okay, so there's this guy Todd who according to Uncle Mel is a "vaginal reject" but who is actually the head counselor for the "nature-based rehabilitation center for the criminally insane and institutionally imbalanced". And every morning the Irish potato guy wakes the camp up with a traditional spoon dance, a camp full of people who are either seething mad or obnoxiously nice. Some even hook up, but one thing I learned while watching Camp Death is that sex is not sexy through a fish eye lens.

You know, I should just stop. Like I said, this movie is crazy and is one you just have to see to believe.

Worth Watching?

Ultimately, this movie is visually high quality. I mean there's some God awful CGI, but it's very intentionally so which makes it hilarious. The entire cast were seriously committed to their roles and really made this a quality production that was a blast to watch from start to finish. Well, at least I thought so, not everyone did. It's a movie you either love or hate, which is demonstrated perfectly over at Horrorpedia.