Blood Beat (1983) Review

Spoiler-free so you can read before you watch

Blood Beat (1983) Review

Horrorific content by adrian on December 24th, 2020 | Movie Review | Christmas, B-Horror

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It's about a supernatural samurai warrior who slashes his way through a small Wisconsin town at Christmas.

Blood Beat was directed by Fabrice Zaphiratos and stars Peter Spelson (from The Psychotronic Man) and a bunch of other people who have never been in any other horror movies.

The Most Bizarre Christmas Horror You'll Ever See.

Blood Beat Review

Blood Beat is an obscure and bizarre oddity of a horror flick. I stumbled on it while scrolling through Shudder the other night and was just blown away by how strangely awesome it was. I was actually ordering the Blu-ray from Vinegar Syndrome while the ending credits were still rolling. 

It starts out like any ordinary Christmas movie, with family coming together for the holiday. Adult siblings Dolly, Ted and Ted's new girlfriend Sarah show up to their parents house for some yuletide cheer. But things get awkward fast when Sarah meets Ted's psychic mom Cathy who gives her the stink eye. Turns out, they have some kind of supernatural cosmic connection with one another, and with the ghost of an ancient samurai warrior who is summoned whenever Sara has an orgasm. 

That's right. When Sarah smashes, he slashes.

Blood Beat takes place in a rural town in Wisconsin and involves typical Christmas activities like hunting, painting, jumping cars, playing Monopoly, fighting, dropping out of school and drinking tea with orange juice on water beds. It sounds weird because it is. But it only gets weirder when Sarah starts to get freaky in the bedroom. Her orgasms for some inexplicable reason conjure up a glowing samurai which Cathy can sense. They then have to battle each other and the samurai for survival. In one particular scene Sarah is masturbating which sends the samurai off killing neighbors in wild ways.

Yep. When Sarah jills, he kills.

Blood Beat can't really be explained, partly because a lot of it makes no sense. But this is one of those rare B-horror gems that doesn't need to make sense to be fun. What makes it great are the characters, the crazy effects, the insane concept and the copious cheese. Here's a few ways I found it described online:

"Strangely entertaining"
"Pure weird."
"Orgasms and Samurai Killer? I'm All In!"
"Mysteriously watchable"
"Like Nothing You've Ever Seen"
"About As Weird As You're Going to Get"
"A wintry acid trip of a horror film"

Had I read these before seeing it I would have bought the Blu-ray blind!

Worth Watching?

Definitely. Watching Blood Beat is my new annual Christmas tradition.

Blood Beat (1983) Worth Watching? - ALL HORROR Tweet it

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